Thursday, August 13, 2015

If you put all your eggs in one basket and it turns out that the basket has a hole in it... Well, that is unfortunate.

I read some about Jonathan Daniels this morning. I hadn't known of him before, but I think people are making a big deal out of it this year. There seems to be a lot of racial business going on in the USA these days. For good or not, hard to say. But it has held the attention of my FB friends for more than the usual week or so.

I am sick. I feel so bad, with a sore throat and cough.

I have felt bad for a long time, though. There's not much life in me. My world is flat. I try to choose joy, I try to be interested, I want to rejoin the living, but I have to admit that I am dead inside.

Something inside me used to be alive. It would pray all the time. When I woke up in the night, or in the morning, I could hear it. Now there is just silence. I can not pray. I don't think I even know how. It has been unconscious for so long, like breathing, I didn't have to think about it. Now I realize that I don't even know how!

My body was the only thing moving things forward. Now it is weak too.

In the evening Psalm last night the Psalmist says:  

I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
          I have no good apart from you.”  (Ps 16:2)

And I worry about him because he has put all his eggs in this one basket, much as I have, and the basket has a hole in it.

I should have gotten another basket. I have put all my hope in this Christian God, and now look. I have no good apart from God, and I don't have God either!

God is not what I need anyway. I need cough medicine, that is what I need. And some tea.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Linda, I'm so sorry for your sick body. If I could get you cough medicine, I would. Is it possible that you're experiencing the dark night of the soul that the mystics speak of, and that this, too, shall pass? I hope so. Love you.