I have a confession to make.
Are you ready?
I believe, in my heart of hearts, that if someone is tapping on their mobile phone, I am at liberty to cut in line in front of them. Or knock them over. Either or both. That's a belief I hold and even though it's not particularly Christ-like I have been unable, as well as unwilling, to convince myself otherwise.
Sometimes I feel bad about this. Sometimes I do not, and I feel bad about that too. Because I should. You know...
But, I have been reading Psalm 103 a lot lately, and that kind of helps me.
We don't have much of an internet here in China. I mean, sometimes we do. And, when we do, it's pretty good. I have a good VPN and I can surf the web with an IP address from anywhere in the world. But you have to have the internet to have a VPN. And sometimes we don't have that.
The upshot is that I can't always get to the RCL when I want to and I have wound up reading the readings for July 13 a lot more often than I would have otherwise. That's what is somehow cached. The Psalm for July 13 is 103 which is one of the better ones. That's just my opinion, of course. But, it is pretty good. And that's how I came to read it so often.
I have gotten to where I especially look forward to verse 14. The writer has just said how our sins are put far from us, and God is compassionate towards us. Then he says, "God knows... God knows how you are."
OK. That may be my own private paraphrase, but it's true.
God knows how you are: How you have that little bit of bitterness left over from long ago, that secret fear of yours, the daily challenges that you think you're papering over. God knows. Get over your bad self, God knows already. God forgives. Lots.
You want to cut in line, knock people over, secretly think you're better than them? God is not at all surprised. God knows how you are, after all. God forgives. Lots.
God is not surprised when you have one of those little outbursts... God knows how you are, after all. God forgives. Lots.
God is not surprised by your besetting sins, your inattention in prayer, your wandering mind... God knows how you are, after all. God forgives. Lots.
God already knows that you did that thing, had those thoughts, said those words, didn't do that thing, or wish for certain irritating people to just vanish. It's not a surprise. God knows how you are, after all. God forgives. Lots.
That comforts me. That God knows already... God knows how I am.