Monday, May 4, 2015

 Do not put your trust in princes,
          in mortals, in whom there is no help.
  When their breath departs, they return to the earth;
          on that very day their plans perish.    

Psalm 146:3,4
We have this saying, "Where there's death, there's hope." And we usually say it about people who disagree with us or cause us some consternation. It's a little bit mean, but it is also true.

What I wonder about, though, is who is saying it about me? And why?
It might be alright if, for example, I was breaking barriers like Peter in the reading that's coming up for this Sunday. But, if they are just waiting for me to kick off because I'm a bitch... and sometimes I am.... well, then I might want to take a look at that.

I also think about this a lot when I'm reading the news. If a few people would just kick off... But there would be others to take their place. There always are.

And, mainly, I think of my own plans. If I die today... and there's no reason to think I won't... then what of all my plans?  Poof! Gone! So I don't spend too much time planning. Make a plan, and then do it right away. That's how I do it. Sometimes I should be more thoughtful, consult more widely, but stuff does get done that way. I don't want them to write on my tombstone, "She was going to get some food to those people next week. She intended to build a little school next year. She was going to do this, or that, or some other thing... later." I don't really care what they put on my tombstone. I probably won't even have one. But, I want to get things done while I'm alive on the Earth plane because I don't know if I'll be able to do much after.

Also, I am planning to spend a lot of time making mischief in the afterlife so I want to get all my do-gooding done now.

In other news, my tooth is bothering me a lot, but the dentist is going to take it out on Thursday and to a root canal on the other one.

Also on Thursday, the new ayie (house cleaner) comes. She wants 50 RMB an hour which I think is OUTrageous. But if she's really good it's OK.  I don't think she is going to be very good. I think that I am going to have to teach her everything. I think that she won't know any English. And I think that she is going to wash my dishes with the same sponge she uses to clean my toilet, which is why I have to be here while she cleans, and why I have just been doing it myself all this time. But, if she cleans to western standards... Well, that's as good as it gets.

Lag B'Omer is almost here. It's a day when we feel that we have come out of some kind of oppression. There's a story there, and I'll tell you. I am rather looking forward to Lag this year.

I have managed to keep up my Omer count this year. I don't have any actual wheat to offer, mind you. But I have managed to observe the passing of each day consciously and deliberately, and with gratitude most days.

I am bored with my job and the lengthy commute. But, the thing is, when I do get home I'm in Jing"An, and I can't think of a better place to be. So, I'm off for another day of working with a weak curriculum, teaching people who don't understand why their English is still bad, and fuming that there are some pretty big things missing from the curriculum; not wonky grammar things either! Things like articles, countable/uncountable nouns... I mean, how can I teach English without teaching that? (I teach countable/uncountable nouns on the side... don't tell anybody. And I read poems. What are they going to do, fire me? I'm so scared.)

Off I go.

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