Thought Speech and Action are the three ways the soul expresses itself. We can see that in the letter Hei.

There are three parts:

 

 

The upper beam reminds us of thought because it is at the top of the letter, and of equality because it is even. All are equal to God and it is this thought which leads us to loving kindness. Loving kindness is the true essence of Hei. I know that, but I can’t explain it. It’s just something I remember. Not very helpful, I know. 

The line on the right extends from the upper beam to the line on the paper, or from the head to the earth. By speaking we extend the life of thought and divine receptivity to the earth plane.

The other line is not attached to the head. It is the line of action. You know how sometimes you do something that is perfect, but you don’t realize it until later? That’s because there’s a break between thoughts and actions. It is true that sometimes we really don’t know what we’re doing, or at the very least we don’t understand why.   

At the level of soul, you can think of them as the lines of thought, speaking, and action. 

At the level of divinity they are essence, immanence, and transcendence. 

There are levels which I should have explained before we started this thing. I didn’t think anyone would actually read it! Not more than once, anyway. Anyway, at the level of worlds, for example, the lines of the Hei represent height, breadth, and depth. But, you know, just read along. If something speaks to you, or gets you thinking, that’s good.

Hei is the fifth letter of the Aleph Bet. That should remind you that there are five fingers on your hand, five toes on your feet, five visible planets, five vanities in Ecclesiastes. At the level of soul it reminds you of the five levels of the soul, that in Psalm 103/4 it says “Bless God, my soul” five times. You can also remember the five voices that the bride and groom hear at their wedding (joy, happiness, bride, groom, torah.) At the level of divinity we remember that there are five books of Moses, there are five final letters in the Aleph Bet, and there are the five assholes who work in my office. Use your imagination.

 

Now here is what I have been thinking about mainly:  Hei and Yud mean to be broken. And sometimes we feel a little bit broken, don't we? And, if/when we start to recover it's easy to think that we never want to go through that again. And, believe me, I know what you mean. I don't either.

But, there is another word. It starts with Hei too. One of the things we can do is take a look at all the words that start with Hei and see if they have anything in common. Well, the other word is Hei, Yud, and another Hei. It means to become, or was. It's your basic BE verb.

The earth WAS without form...
God said let THERE BE light...

It is not good for man to BE alone...

The serpent WAS more subtle...

And Cush begat Nimrod: He began TO BE a mighty one in the earth...

In English the Be Verbs show action, or a state of being. Obviously, I teach all the ways you can use them... with modals, in the gerund form, with all the tenses, past participles, probably some other stuff... But, in reading over these verses which contain Hei, Yud, Hei (ha'yah, maybe, if you want to pronounce it) I can see that they are all about change. Something is going on. Either a woman will be created, or darkness will be broken, or a great nation will arise, SOMEthing! And the connection that I've kind of latched onto is that brokenness begats being. Maybe we are broken, hopefully only for a little while. But there might be a new being too. The little Yud takes us from brokenness to being. There's enough hope in that to keep me moving on.

I am not sure the sages would agree with me on that. But the thing about Kabbalah Hebrew is that we trust the divine mind to go where it will. Remember in the second downward line of the Hei there is an existential break between the conscious thought and the way it is manifest. We don't have to know HOW the mind gets from one place to the next, but if a letter takes us somewhere, then that place is worth exploring. Not all places are worth blogging about, but they are worth exploring. We have to ask some questions about how a new discovery compares with the other things we know about God and God's ways. And this, I hope, is consistent with what I know of God. I have always been able to convince myself that whatever happens it is all to make something new, something good. So I am going to stay with this thought that brokenness and new being-ness are related.

It's day seven of the Omer:  Malchut of Chessed. It is also day seven of Easter.

I think it is important for Christians to count these Great Fifty days. I am not sure what form that should take. Maybe some special study, or a special fifty-day meditation on light (paschal candle.) Maybe it should be a  time to recommit ourselves to being willing participants in the life of God since we are about to receive the Holy Spirit. I really think that almost anything would be better than the current nothing.But that's just me. I really do think, though, that one of these days It'll be fairly common to have Great Fifty devotional books, much like we have Advent and Lent devotional books. |

In Western Christianity this is called Low Sunday, maybe because attendance is a little low after Easter.

From Dorothee Soelle today we have: "The real exile of Israel in Egypt was that they had learned to endure it." So, really, let's not learn to endure suffering, but just wait to see what new thing emerges. I know that's terrible optimistic of me, and to be completely honest I'm not feeling it. But I found that little bit of hope and I think I'll keep it.

From the readings this morning -- the lectionary readings, not the eucharistic readings -- we have Thomas speaking his truth, "What are you talking about?" he says, "We don't know where you are going, and we don't know how to get there..." And, for his honestly, and his doubt, he is not rebuffed, most certainly he is not kicked out of anything, but he is invited in closer. "Here, touch me, see my wounds, get inside it."

There are lots of things to doubt. We can doubt if we'll ever be better, healed. We can doubt if the world can keep going the way it is, if we can. We can doubt if God even cares. But there seems never to be a rebuff in our doubts. Jesus doesn't even seem to notice. "Come over here," he says, "Feel the wounds... believe in the little hope you've got."

This one time there were some Jews who were devastated because their temple had been destroyed. But, later they were able to get it back, and it was a real mess too. In all the rubble they found a little oil, not too much, just enough for one day. Even though it was a small amount, they lit it anyway. I think you know the rest of the story. The oil burned for eight days, long enough for more oil to be obtained. In other words, it burned long enough. And it is the same with any little hope we can find. Just take the hope you've got. There are no guarantees, but history would indicate that whatever you've got is enough.

And tomorrow is Monday. In the language school biz we call that Low Monday because nobody wants to learn English on a Monday. Maybe I'll have time to actually think about something. Today was a mad house. This one kid, Steven, he always wants something. And somebody else wanted to show me her new baby, like I've never seen one before. They all look the same to me, they really do. And I had to teach an extra class. And another student honored/annoyed me by asking me to attend her final presentation where she said that I'd changed her life. I swear, I did not. Anyway, it's all good. But, busy. I will leave home early tomorrow to spend some time in the park, by the small pond.